2017年的目标

在2017年，我肯定也要放下几个实际性的目标让我更有规划的去实现它！

1）要练到6packs的腹肌！

2）Full Marathon要做到sub 4hr

3) 还完全部的Credit Card欠债，再存RM10K

4) 在做决定性的选择时可以更加的有自信和思考

5）为家里再添加一个成员

6）来一次Europe TRIP       Y(~.~)Y

以上！加油吧2017年！

i had experience a "special" thing in my life.

Today is quite memorial, because I think I had been molested!! Haha, I want to note it down for ensuring I will not forget it in my life.
The story starts when I was discovering the ways around the youth park’s moon gate. While I was discovering the ways, it is a guy (guy A) who follows me and chat with me. Actually feel a bit secure when walking with him because the sky becomes darker at the time.

After that the guy suggests not to hike higher since the night is coming, and he suggests another way which can “bath”. I am feeling to discover the new place so I agree with him and follow him.
When reach the place, the guy said wants to bath. He takes off his clothes and invites me to join. I feel luckily that I cheated him I never bring any clothes so that I can cheat him I need to drive across the Penang Bridge and afraid of get flue with wet body.

After that another guy (guy B) come and looks at us. Then I feel something wrong. The guy B walked near us. During he chatted with us, he touch my “little brother”!!! And even not only 1 time!! Shit, luckily I still can calm down and ask him do not do that again to me. Although it is few times the guy B tried to touch mine…. But I had protected it very well! And I saw he touch the guy A and he is very “enjoy”. Cham… I had in trap! But luckily after I say NO TO BATH AND TOUCH for few times, they give up and say want to walk back. They do not use “force”…

During the way we walk back, guy A trying to pursue me to go his house and dinner with him. He indicated that he want to watch “movie” with me which were “man with man”. He asks me to phone my family cheating that I am over time for my job and go his house.

After we walk out from there, he took my phone number. I think no harm to give him, then i give him.

It is really my special day…. Funny and scary..

p.s. quite comfortable when the guy B touch me de.. kekeke..

i am the Fly in the trap

my complicated life…..

Know why I want to use English to express my complicated life? Because most of the times even I myself also can’t understand what I write. I write this is just want to express but never think to let others know about this.

These few days, I can feel the clock in my life run very slow, I think is because I had stucked myself into trouble. I had thought a lot of things, my job’s things, my partner’s things, my current situation, my future……..etc.

Just express my job’s things. I really feel I am lost my way for my job. I so wish to leave my current job and get another job soonest possible. And it is 1 job on my hand and I received the letter of offer already. But that is not the exact job I want, I am looking and waiting for another job which is more attract my interest. But I wonder should I wait for the job or….? The decision I made correct or not? Or should I get another new job in new field. Should I resign now or wait for another letter of offer? I feel lost my way on it.

**DELETED**

That is about my current situation and future. It is all related to my job. Is it I want my job now? I want my partner now? I wish to change? I want to change? Or what I want??

My life is so complicated? I just want a simple life, life to eat, to work and to enjoy. I do not want to think anymore. I won’t check and review this again. Haizz…
That is life..

memory from my heart…心的忆。。。

昨天下午，我的朋友接到电话说她的外公昨天有事就赶着出去。之后他外公被送去医院然后就过世了。

当我听到我朋友的外公去世时，让我想起了很多，很多关于我父亲的事。在要放工时，她回来公司弄一些东西。那时我看到她回来时坚持带着笑的脸蛋和好像有点哭过的眼睛让我好难过。反而是我的眼眶好像有了眼泪。

她的样子让我想起当时我老爸过世时的我的样子。她就好像是我的镜子，把当时的我照出来。当时我就好像那个样子。那时我想去安慰她但又不知道怎么安慰，而且我的心情满奇怪的。可能是因为我想到了我的父亲弄到我的心有种痛的感觉。所以就想写一些我心里的回忆。

还记得在我父亲去世前，我对他是又爱又恨的。因为他每天讲我笨啦，浪费钱，和很多很多。还有他叫我不用读书因为浪费钱，叫我去做老师因为我做生意会被人骗等等。。。。

在他去世后，我的心没有一次在想起他的时候没痛过。可能是我一直都在觉得对不起他。而我在我父亲去世时才觉得知道他对我来说太重要了。小的时候他常带我出 去，去吃KFC和一些其他的。我最有印象的是有一次我们去Relau买榴莲，我很感触地跟他说“爸，我要好好读书给你看”。他留给我很多回忆。结果很多承诺我都没做到。

我也做了很多让他生气的事。我说过我如果30岁没结婚，我想当和尚（因为当时接触佛教会而且觉得在那里，我的心很安静）。不只这个，我还说过我想当乞丐（因为不用做工就有钱拿）。在我刚读学院的时候，因为我爸爸当时说我一直乱花钱而我觉得没有所以我就生气地真的每天跟他拿钱花。当时把我的爸爸气到。哈哈。。。

在他去世的那段时间我一个人偷偷的大哭了，而且哭了很久。因为我不想给人看到我哭的样子所以我都拼命的去想其他的事情。在朋友来殡礼时，我都是有说有笑的，还和朋友一起玩牌。可能当时的我完全接受不了现实。我在所有的事情结束然后要回KL读书时，我没马上回学院而是跑去我KL的家。在那里，我想了很多很多也哭了很多很多。之后我就完完全全的把我的父亲留在我心里。但每当我一想到他，我的眼眶还是湿了。所以之后我不喜欢听到任何关于父亲的事，因为会让我想到很多很多。然而我朋友外公的事却我想到了我爸爸。

我一生都很内疚的事是我一直没有达到我爸爸的标准，一直让他伤心，烦恼和生气也没有带他去走走。在他生病时我也一直觉得他不会这样早“走”，所以没尽到我这做孩子的全部责任。也很遗憾他不能来我的毕业典礼。

我想了很多，心情也很低落，所以有点担心我的朋友就问候了她，然而她说她没事了。真的还是。。。因为怎么说我也不是人家肚子里的蛔虫。就希望她真的好起来，要找个地方发泄。不要像我一样所有东西都收在心里。

当我写完这些时，心情好很多了。我想我是把这里当作一个发泄的管道吧。。。哈哈。。

(回家）

1st Blog..

this is my secret blog.

i have been a long time never write any blog.

so…. let’s start the blog!!!